As hard as it is to understand, couples still play games with each other after they’re married. To be blunt, this game playing is hazardous to the health of the marriage relationship and should be avoided at all costs. There simply is no place for it in a happy marriage.
Aha! Maybe that’s the point. If you or your spouse are always playing games, then it could be taken as a sign that your marriage isn’t as happy as it could be. Or, perhaps the situation is worse and your marriage is in real trouble. Even if it is humming along nicely, the very fact that mind games are being played means there is room for improvement.
Of course we are talking about mind games up to this point. This may be referred to as manipulation, deceit, laying guilt trips or otherwise being dishonest about what’s really going on. however, there are other types of marriage games that you can play. What we are talking about here are more purposeful games that both of you play together. There isn’t anything sneaky about them, and they are designed to help strengthen your relationship.
“Why I love you.” This game is just like it sounds. You look each other in the eye, then each spouse takes turns mentioning one reason why they love the other one. The first few times you play this it may be difficult to name more than a few things, that’s okay. You both have to agree to not take the game personally f the other one is having a hard time. The more you play, the more fun you will have.
“What you mean to me.” This game is played the same as the “Why I love you” game, but you each take turns saying what you mean to the other. Just imagine how much better you will make each other feel as you get better at rattling off your lists of why you love and appreciate each other.
“Silence is golden.” They say the vast majority of our communication is non-verbal. You can put this to the test and work on having a better relationship at the same time. Go for a preset amount of time where you will agree to talk to each other without using any words. If possible, try doing it for an entire day. Also, choose a block of time where you will be together for most of it, otherwise it won’t have the same effect. You may be amazed at just how much you can say without using any words at all.
While there are some games you shouldn’t play when you are married (like mind games), there are marriage games that will help you grow closer as a couple. The three games above are a good start, but there is no reason you can’t make up games of your own, or find other games people have created for the purpose of a happier marriage.
